Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Uterus Didelphys

 I have had this blog post written for a couple weeks now and for some reason I just couldn't find the courage to post it. I am usually very open about my abnormality but for some reason posting it on the Internet has made me feel somewhat vulnerable. Maybe it's because I can't stick up for myself as easily?  Either way I am over it now:) So here is the background of where my infertiltiy journey started...

Ever since I was twelve years old I knew having children would be difficult for me. What I didnt know was how difficult emotionally it would be. Try to think back when you were twelve years old.. would you have known how big of a deal a uterus is? I didn't.. I was having so much pain that I just wanted my doctors to take it out. In fact at twelve years old I was hoping for it to be removed. I wanted my pain to be over forever.

I got my first menstrual cycle and boy was I excited. I was diagnosed with scoliosis and had been wearing a body brace for two years. My spinal doctor told me 12-18 months after my first menstrual cycle I would never have to wear it again. 
Here is pictures of me with my body brace compliments of my mother ;) Cute huh?? 


My excitement quickly turned to agony as my menstrual cycle that month was extremely painful. I had nothing to compare it to though, so I just assumed it was normal. I do remember lying on the couch in unbearable pain, wishing it to be over soon. A couple of days later it was, and the pain subsided.

Throughout the month I had more pain in my lower back. My parents had taken me to my regular doctor, and they performed multiple tests. They couldn't find anything wrong.

The following months as my cycle came my pain got worse. I was missing school, sports and activities with my friends. My parents kept bringing me to my doctor and after multiple visits they started to blame it on me not enjoying school. I even had some extended family members tell me to stop faking it because I am worrying my parents. The doctor eventually recommended physical therapy and my mom and I both left in disbelief that that was their answer. We never did the physical therapy.

The next month came and I was doubled over in pain. I remember crying on the floor not knowing what to do. I specifically remember this day. My mom called up the local gynecologist's office to see if maybe it had something to do with my reproductive system. They told her they were booked and I remember hearing my moms voice cracking as she cried trying to explain that I needed to be seen right away. My mom never cries. The doctors office hung up and they called back saying a doctor would fit me in at 1pm.

This was the appointment that finally gave us some answers. The appointment that proved to everyone I wasn't faking. The gynecologist didn't want to examine me because I was too young, but at this point we were desperate for answers so my mom told them to do it anyway. In this exam the doctor found a large mass in my abdomen, about the size of a grapefruit/softball. After this mass was found I had an ultra sound which confirmed the mass, but didn't show what the mass was exactly so they referred me to have an MRI and laparoscopy.

The MRI showed a normal uterus on the left side of my abdomen and, lo and behold, there was another uterus on the right side. This uterus was obstructed by a septum, which caused all my monthly cycles to pool up which was causing my pain. 

Here is a picture for those of you who have never heard of it :
Following this diagnosis my new gyno had told us that there is a doctor that knows about my condition(uterus didelphys) however it would be impossible to get into see him because he was a specialist (back then it was hard to get into specialists). He told my parents it would be more then six months before I could get in. Obviously six months was not going to cut it, so I had a surgery to remove the septum where they found a second cervix. They removed the septum and opened up the cervix, so at this point I had two functioning uteruses. However the next month I was in pain again. The septum closed up again, and my parents had decided to bring me down to the Mayo Clinic where I had another surgery to remove it. My doctor at the Mayo Clinic explained to us that he had never had a patient come back with the same problem, but two months later I was back. The septum had grown back yet again. So I had yet another surgery to remove it.

A month or so later I was once more in pain. My parents called down to the Mayo Clinic and they said they were going to have to do a hysterectomy and take out both of my uteruses. My life altering appointment was scheduled for the next day. Now here is where I was secretly excited. My twelve year old mind wanted them out, in my eyes it meant no more pain, and no more surgeries.

This next part of the story my mom only told me a couple of years ago:

My mom felt differently. She knew what this meant for my future, no chance at ever having children. She was upset that the Mayo was just going to take away any chance of me ever being able to have children. In complete panic and desperation she called the office of the specialist (Dr. Nagel) that our original gynecologist told us we would never get into see. She spoke to the receptionist and cried to her on the phone. She bawled. She told them what the Mayo Clinic was going to do and the receptionist put my mom on hold. A couple of minutes later a new voice came on the phone; it was Dr. Nagel himself. The doctor that we were told was way too busy for us. He told my mom that he doesn't have any normal business hour appointments open, but he would keep the office open for us if we could come in after business hours.

We went to see him that night and I do remember the receptionist coming out and hugging my mom. I didn't know why, but again, I was twelve and oblivious to everything.

It turned out that my pain was coming from a large cyst on one of my ovaries. It had nothing to do with the septum coming back. I had some pain medication and went on my way. I had very painful menstrual cycles from then on, but nothing like it was. 

Now fast forward 10 years and that is where our next blog post will pick up! 











Tuesday, March 17, 2015

And then there were 4

We have exciting news that I am sure many of our followers might have noticed from our last post. Our lives have changed drastically since we became a family of three and the unthinkable happened..

From a 1 percent chance to a 100 percent miracle -- Kaetheo is going to be a big brother! Somehow by the grace of God we are pregnant, and expecting baby G #2 in the next couple months! 

The story of us finding out the miracle that we are pregnant is pretty amazing. I have been so afraid to share this exciting news with our amazing followers (specifically the ones that have suffered infertility as we have) because I know how painful a pregnancy announcement can be. This blog was mainly to share our adoption journey and obviously we will continue to do so because adoption is what has made our lives whole, but we have decided to also share all our efforts to becoming a family, and that includes treatments we went through for three years in hopes it will give others hope.  I'll admit we haven't shared much of our infertility story because, as many of you know, it's a subject that makes people feel very vulnerable. 

We plan to backtrack a little to share what we have gone through to get to this point but it's going to be long so it will come in a couple different posts throughout the next couple weeks. 

But at the end of our infertility story is Kaetheo, and his sister who is expected to arrive early this summer! We wouldn't change our infertility/adoption journey one bit. It brought us to our son.. And now our daughter.

Honestly we weren't sure if we would ever be able to provide Kaetheo with a sibling to play with and love, and we just feel so blessed that we can give him this. <3






Tuesday, March 10, 2015

It's Official!

It took us 840 days exactly from the day we started the adoption process to the day our adoption was finalized in the court . Yesterday went so perfect! Kaetheo had the cutest outfit that his Neema (Kaylah's Mom) bought for him. (Mommy got to pick it out)



We were expecting a quick in and out finalization, but instead we were suprised by how special our Judge made it. Both our immediate families came with to celebrate us becoming an official family. We were a little worried the court would be upset with all the people , but we were surprised with how friendly they are, even the security guards! (A special thank you to Bridgette Davis from Beegee photography for capturing these moments! )

We all waited outside the courtroom door anxiously waiting for the door to open.





The courtroom door opened at 1:30 pm and they invited us in and we all sat waiting patiently for  
Judge Mcphereson to arrive. 


 We weren't sure what to expect, but we were pleasantly surprised when the first thing Judge Mcphereson did was come over to shake our hands and ask to hold Kaetheo, of course we let her! 


She then asked us if she could take him with her, and she did! He got to sit up on her lap the entire hearing and watch from her view! 





being sworn in 

The hearing: You can see Kaetheo's head :)

Judge Mcphereson proceeded to ask us questions and ask us if we promise to love and support Kaetheo for his entire life, and of course we both were anxious to say yes. After that we were done and she told Kaetheo that she is going to approve his adoption! If the camera was in front of us you would have seen both of us smiling ear to ear.

Judge Mcphereson handing him back


Being introduced as an official family


Once we were all finished we all went out to celebrate at a restaurant in our home town!

On our way to our celebratory lupper! 


All of us at lupper








The end<3 Oh wait no, it's just the beginning! :) 







Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Holiday and New Year update!

So much has happened in the last couple months! The holidays have kept us very busy. It is amazing how different this year was from last year. Last year we spent days dreaming about what life would be like with a child and this year we actually got to experience it!

Our special Christmas:

Christmas Eve was special this year! At 4:30 pm on Christmas Eve we became a forever family of three! It didn't feel real and on Christmas EVE?? What an amazing Christmas gift. We were over the moon this Christmas.


On top of our family Christmases, we got to add another little family Christmas with Kaetheo's birth family, and it was pretty amazing! We had them over to our house, exchanged presents, they got to hold and play with Kaetheo while we all caught up since we hadn't seen each other for a couple weeks! Kaetheo even got to meet his birth great-grandma! Although we have only known them for a couple months, our hearts just have this amazing love for them.

We read on a blog post recently about the term "WHY ME?" and it hit home. The excerpt below was particularly meaningful to us.

5.) It will be worth it.

When we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility, I always asked myself, "WHY ME?"

When the going got tough with the adoption process, I often times asked myself, "WHY ME?"

It's easy to be angry when you wonder WHY the adoption process is so hard. Why it's such a
roller coaster. Why there's so much red tape.

But when you hold that sweet baby in your arms, it will be worth it.

These days I find myself looking in the mirror while holding Olivia [she loves to see herself], and I ask myself the same question: "WHY ME?" except in a completely different context.

Why did God choose me to be Olivia's mom?

Why did her birth momma feel I was deserving to be this precious girl's forever mom?

What did I do to deserve such a perfect, AMAZING gift?

It is such an honor to be an adoptive parent.

There aren't adequate words to describe how awesome it feels to be CHOSEN.


Click here to read the entire blog post. 

This is exactly how we feel and have felt. She explains that through infertility and the adoption process couples often ask them selves "Why us?" Of all people "Why us?" Then she goes on to explain how after you're chosen, and have your child in your arms, the question meaning changes completely. Very often we can't fathom to understand "Why us". I, too, have looked in the mirror holding Kaetheo thinking out of all people in this world what did I do to deserve his birth family to chose us. I can't say it better then she did without plagiarizing so just read it! ^^:)  


Grandparents with all the grand babies

Admiring his presents

Kaetheo and Great-grandpa 


Christmas -Jordan's side 

Kaetheo and his cousin Thorin. Matching Pjs<3

Kaetheo update:

Bouncer at Nema's (Grandma's) house
He has grown SOO much. He is already in 9 month clothing. He rolled over for the first time right before he turned 3 months old, but isn't super consistent with it yet. 

He loves his jumparoo bouncer. He had so much fun in it we caught him almost falling asleep in it last night.

He generally sleeps from about 7:30 pm to 7:00 am, which gives mommy and daddy a lot of catch up time on cleaning the house (and of course sleeping). We have been working on his leg strength and we are starting to think he will walk before he crawls!  

He loves grabbing his feet! His personality is getting bigger and bigger each day. If we pretend to look away from him he will make a loud yell and when we look back he belly laughs. He sure knows how to get our attention <3 


Our must haves this month were his play mat, bouncer, and rattle OBall!


His laugh is precious. We got it on video just last night<3.




In November Kaetheo got to meet his great great Grandmother. (Jordan's great-grandma). We were fortunate enough to take a special five-generation picture that not many have the opportunity to take. Unfortunately, a couple months later Grandma Miller passed away. We feel lucky that he had the chance to meet her even if it was just once. Grandma Miller was a tremendous woman and she will be missed very much by her family.

5 Generations <3 



4 month pictures!! He loves standing<33





Kaetheo was baptized 1 day short of his 4 month birthday! It was a very special day for all of us<3 Both sides of our families came to celebrate his special day with us!






Until next time!! 

Xo 



Monday, December 15, 2014

Parallel Journeys

When a family decides to adopt for the first time I don't believe they understand the full journey they are about to encounter. For some, everything goes very smoothly. For others, not so lucky. But in the end, we all end up in the same place - with a child we love more then anything, and many more friends that they met through their journey.


We have met a lot of adoptive couples that we stay in touch with: Some from other blogs, some from our adoption education courses, and some we just met in passing. One couple in particular is very important to us: Amber and Dan. We met them through our agency, and we think our story of how we came to know each other so well is pretty amazing!


Back in June right after we had our failed adoption our adoption worker had called to ask us if we would be willing to give out our contact information to another couple that was encountering the same heartbreak. The baby girl they thought was going to be their daughter was also reclaimed from them. She was born one day after the baby boy that was reclaimed from us. Of course we immediately said yes, give them our number and email. We started to check our email, constantly hoping the family would reach out to us. Although we would wish the pain we went through on no one, it was a relief to know we weren't the only ones. All we wanted was for someone to talk to that understood the agony we were going through. Minutes later an email popped up and it was Amber. 

We talked through email, and it was clear we all were feeling the same way: pain, hurt, anger, frustration, hopelessness. Soon after talking with each other, we both got the courage and re-entered our agency's profile book as waiting families, again. As we moved on and time passed, we kept in touch. We all had good days and bad days. We had been meaning to meet up for dinner a couple of times, but life was very busy for all of us. We became Facebook friends and started following each others' journeys. 

Shortly after, they became matched with another amazing birthmother who was due in the beginning of October. We were happy and excited that one of us was able to move forward. We got updates about how things were going for them and the birthfamily they were matched with, which was refreshing because it gave us hope that it could happen for us again too. However we still had our bad days. I remember one day in particular my spirits were down, I reached out to Amber spilling my guts on how scared I was that we were going to wait forever, how would we be so lucky to be chosen twice in the same year? She picked me up when I needed it most and helped me through that rough day which I can't thank her enough for! Little did I know our happiness was coming, very soon!

Amber kept me updated and told me that they were expecting their little girl to come in the next week. They were super excited and nervous and of course we were for them! A week passed and all of a sudden our phone rang. It was "the" call, the right one this time, for us! A birthmother had chosen us. She was in labor, and we were asked to  meet her the next day! I immediately told Amber and she rejoiced with me! We were both hopeful to become parents again. IN THE SAME WEEK! They were born one day apart just like before :-) Their little girl, Opal, was born one day after Kaetheo was born, and we just so happened to be in the same hospital, just three rooms apart from each other!  We met Amber and Dan in person for the first time at the hospital, and it was amazing to be able to support each other excitedly as we got to take our new little loves home!

So in a nutshell: we each lost a baby, a boy and a girl, born a day apart. Then we both found our babies, a boy and a girl, born a day apart! How crazy??

Since then, we have attended each other's baby showers, talked constantly about how things are going, and finally got a picture of the two lovable babies together!




We all agreed that we would not change one thing about our journeys. We would go through the heartache and heartbreak again to get chosen by Opal's and Kaetheo's birth families. We are so thankful for them! So here is this quote again, and this time we know it's true: