Parallel Journeys

When a family decides to adopt for the first time I don't believe they understand the full journey they are about to encounter. For some, everything goes very smoothly. For others, not so lucky. But in the end, we all end up in the same place - with a child we love more then anything, and many more friends that they met through their journey.

We have met a lot of adoptive couples that we stay in touch with: Some from other blogs, some from our adoption education courses, and some we just met in passing. One couple in particular is very important to us: Amber and Dan. We met them through our agency, and we think our story of how we came to know each other so well is pretty amazing!

www.facebook.com/amberanddanieladopt

Back in June right after we had our failed adoption our adoption worker had called to ask us if we would be willing to give out our contact information to another couple that was encountering the same heartbreak. The baby girl they thought was going to be their daughter was also reclaimed from them. She was born one day after the baby boy that was reclaimed from us. Of course we immediately said yes, give them our number and email. We started to check our email, constantly hoping the family would reach out to us. Although we would wish the pain we went through on no one, it was a relief to know we weren't the only ones. All we wanted was for someone to talk to that understood the agony we were going through. Minutes later an email popped up and it was Amber. 

We talked through email, and it was clear we all were feeling the same way: pain, hurt, anger, frustration, hopelessness. Soon after talking with each other, we both got the courage and re-entered our agency's profile book as waiting families, again. As we moved on and time passed, we kept in touch. We all had good days and bad days. We had been meaning to meet up for dinner a couple of times, but life was very busy for all of us. We became Facebook friends and started following each others' journeys. 

Shortly after, they became matched with another amazing birthmother who was due in the beginning of October. We were happy and excited that one of us was able to move forward. We got updates about how things were going for them and the birthfamily they were matched with, which was refreshing because it gave us hope that it could happen for us again too. However we still had our bad days. I remember one day in particular my spirits were down, I reached out to Amber spilling my guts on how scared I was that we were going to wait forever, how would we be so lucky to be chosen twice in the same year? She picked me up when I needed it most and helped me through that rough day which I can't thank her enough for! Little did I know our happiness was coming, very soon!

Amber kept me updated and told me that they were expecting their little girl to come in the next week. They were super excited and nervous and of course we were for them! A week passed and all of a sudden our phone rang. It was "the" call, the right one this time, for us! A birthmother had chosen us. She was in labor, and we were asked to  meet her the next day! I immediately told Amber and she rejoiced with me! We were both hopeful to become parents again. IN THE SAME WEEK! They were born one day apart just like before :-) Their little girl, Opal, was born one day after Kaetheo was born, and we just so happened to be in the same hospital, just three rooms apart from each other!  We met Amber and Dan in person for the first time at the hospital, and it was amazing to be able to support each other excitedly as we got to take our new little loves home!

So in a nutshell: we each lost a baby, a boy and a girl, born a day apart. Then we both found our babies, a boy and a girl, born a day apart! How crazy??

Since then, we have attended each other's baby showers, talked constantly about how things are going, and finally got a picture of the two lovable babies together!

We all agreed that we would not change one thing about our journeys. We would go through the heartache and heartbreak again to get chosen by Opal's and Kaetheo's birth families. We are so thankful for them! So here is this quote again, and this time we know it's true: