searching for baby G: 2016

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Three under three is soon to be!

WHAAAT???

Jordan and I were at volleyball when I started to not feel well. My stomach was turning and my abdomen was cramping. Thoughts started running through my mind and I was in denial ..there is NO WAY.

I told Jordan we needed to stop at Target on our way home and we did. De ja vu hit when I went in the aisle to buy that test. It brought back so many emotions .. Hope, fear , excitement, anger, sadness everything ! This was the first time I was in that aisle feeling in shock instead of full fledged fear of disappointment. I couldn't believe I was buying a pregnancy test..

We went home to relieve our babysitter but one of us had to drive her home. I told Jordan I was going to run her home quick but he stopped me and made me to take the test quick so he could look at the results while I was gone.

I quickly ran into the bathroom did my thing ..put it on the counter and ran out to meet our babysitter at the car.

As I got to our babysitters house I got a text from Jordan that said "negative."

For some reason I just didn't believe it.. I called Jordan on my way home and I said "are you sure?? Remember with Reverie the line was so light you couldn't see it??"

His response to me was...

"Kaylah I'm looking at it now and there is only one... Ohhhhh wait.... There's a light pink line now. We're pregnant. "

My stomach sunk... Fear and excitement struck me hard . What if the baby isn't in the right uterus (remember I have 2) what if we lose it.. Blahblah.

I called the doctor that night and had a blood test right away the next morning. My hcg levels were a whopping 15 (which is extremely low for those of you who are not familiar).

My doctor said we could have just caught it extremely early and he started me on progesterone supplements.

We had to wait for 2 days to test again and of course I started spotting before I went in for that test. I tried to remind myself that I spotted with Reverie and she was fine .

I waited what felt like all day for those test results and the nurse called and told me my numbers more then doubled and were currently over 100. Our numbers were increasing perfectly.

Fast forward and now we are 17 weeks and expecting to find out gender next week!

So there it is !! We are expecting baby G number 3 and we couldn't be happier! Kaetheo and Rev are going to be big siblings!!

Baby G #3 is expected to arrive March 31st!

Monday, June 6, 2016

Update, Confessions, pictures, and more!

Alright it's time for us to update this blog! Let's be honest..blogging became a lot harder once babies came into the picture!

First off if you have not seen it yet, my mom made a video for us documenting our entire adoption journey to Kaetheo. If you haven't yet seen it go watch it! It is actually part 2 of 2. We will do the infertility part soonish. Searcing for Baby G Adoption Video

Life has been busy. Finding time to ourselves is difficult, but we tend to find it. We have a babysitter come once a week for our volleyball nights which gets us out of the house together and getting active. We love it!

We have been staying REALLY busy as a family. Parades, parks, splash pads, walks, birthday parties, graduations etc.

Kaetheo has been picking up his role as big brother as he learns more and more. He is either protecting Revie or torturing her:). He did get his first set of stitches. He fell off a step and bonked his lip and it required 4 of them! I am pretty sure it was worse on me then him. He was loving the attention ;)

Revie likes to follow her brother around and talk to him. They are starting to interact more now that they are both interested in the same things. She loves to be chased around the house and loves to be held . All. The. Time.

I get asked probably once-twice if Kaetheo and Rev are twins. At first I told people the story because I love the story, but after the 6th time being asked in Target(in the same day) I resorted to just saying they are Irish twins! It causes less questions when I'm in a hurry;)

In November of last year I noticed that I needed more energy to chase around our kiddos so I decided a lifestyle change was needed. I officially have lost 50LBS! I am pretty proud of myself for losing all the baby weight & more. I work at least 3 times a week and I am loving all the energy I have. <33

My confession:

Some have asked us if we plan to have more kiddos and if you would have asked me about 6 months ago I would have said that I didn't think so. It is extremely hard to admit but after having Reverie I suffered from some extreme post partum anxiety. I didn't tell many people because I didn't want anyone to think I was ungrateful for my two amazing blessings that came into my life.

People have asked how we stayed so strong through our infertility and adoption struggle and the answer is we hid it. We even hid it from ourselves. The moment after having Reverie I struggled with pretty intense anxiety which I had never experienced before. My anxiety stemmed from our failed adoptions, miscarriages, failed cycles, etc..

We went into the adoption process pretty naive thinking certain situations wouldn't happen to us. After what feels like everything bad DID infact happen to us I was also expecting the worst with our pregnancy. I waited to go into labor early. I waited to be told we lost her. I waited for the bad to happen because I was trying to prepare myself for another tragedy. Everything with Reverie's birth went perfect, so then I assumed something was going to happen afterwards. In the meantime of worrying about my pregnancy I became very protective of Kaetheo. A little excessive, but I ask you to please not blame me.

If you are a friend, family member or acquaintance that maybe has witnessed me be a little over protective I ask you to put yourself in my shoes. After going through multiple losses I was and am doing everything I can to never lose another child. Little things like no blankets in the crib until the age of one or double checking a car seat belt might seem tedious, but if I can prevent one less tragedy in my life by those small things I think it is worth it.

I have been feeling a lot better, a lot more like myself. My mind isn't as anxious anymore and I am so thankful for that. I still struggle with anxiety a little bit, but I think it's way more of a normal amount that comes with being parents to two toddlers:) If anyone you know is going through any sort of PPD or PPA please reach out to them. I wish I would have understood when doctors were asking me after my pregnancy if I felt depressed, that anxiety is also a major post partum problem. To anyone that is suffering now: IT DOES GET BETTER! It took over a year for me:)

End of confession.

Now on to some happy stuff: NOW if you ask me now if we are going to have more children the answer is YES. We are not even close to done. I wanted six kiddos when Jordan and I got married and we compromised at four. I believe however it's not up to us. It is up to fate. We can confidently say we plan to start the adoption process here again in the near future but we just might change it up a bit:)